on May 9th, 2007 Gregory Alan Pfeifer became a card-carrying member of the mid-west.
[moment of silence]
I got me an IL driver's license, complete with lame photo, "HZL" eyes, and type B restriction. This little number is certainly not gunning to win any beauty contests, sporting quite possibly the most depressing and sterile layouts of all 50 states (and more likely than not, all our little commonwealths as well). The hideously innocuous white backdrop with lifeless matte finish only stirs in the soul a pale reminder of the mid-west's drab boringitude (yes, so dull it warranted a new word... the rest of Webster's fell short). Leaving behind the maryland flag (by far the coolest and most original of all state flags), I now instead get to flaunt the "Seal of the State of Illinois Aug 26th 1818" (didn't even have the sense of propriety enough to spell out the whole month!). Granted, I may be lashing out in my depression, but the gray and brown world of the midwest has done well to bring me down... only the colorful people and city of Chicago (the diamond in the rough), oh and the sense that God wants me to be here (yet another theodical issue up for debate) keeps me in this sweet home.
[moment of silence]
I got me an IL driver's license, complete with lame photo, "HZL" eyes, and type B restriction. This little number is certainly not gunning to win any beauty contests, sporting quite possibly the most depressing and sterile layouts of all 50 states (and more likely than not, all our little commonwealths as well). The hideously innocuous white backdrop with lifeless matte finish only stirs in the soul a pale reminder of the mid-west's drab boringitude (yes, so dull it warranted a new word... the rest of Webster's fell short). Leaving behind the maryland flag (by far the coolest and most original of all state flags), I now instead get to flaunt the "Seal of the State of Illinois Aug 26th 1818" (didn't even have the sense of propriety enough to spell out the whole month!). Granted, I may be lashing out in my depression, but the gray and brown world of the midwest has done well to bring me down... only the colorful people and city of Chicago (the diamond in the rough), oh and the sense that God wants me to be here (yet another theodical issue up for debate) keeps me in this sweet home.
I was just perusing the license for more to write about and realized that immediately above my goofy face with one-lazy eye (and not my usual lazy eye, either) were the bold letters drawing far too much attention to the obvious:
"DRIVERS LICENSE"
Apparently I'm holding license for a myriad of drivers, not just myself. The lack of the possessive apostrophe indicates that this is not the license of a Driver, but somehow a license of drivers.... (not sure where I'm going with this, soooo...)
"DRIVERS LICENSE"
Apparently I'm holding license for a myriad of drivers, not just myself. The lack of the possessive apostrophe indicates that this is not the license of a Driver, but somehow a license of drivers.... (not sure where I'm going with this, soooo...)
I close with parting words since they are the ones with which to end monologues:
A Safer State with .08
A Safer State with .08
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